I wrote this post on April 22, 2013.
Dear Future Husband,
How are you today?? I really wish that you’re always in ALLAH’s bless and guidance.
Its 9.59 pm here in my place when I started to write this post and I just finish giving crocheting course to an old lady next door. Yes dear, I teach crocheting once in a while. In fact, I do some craft on my daily basis. It’s no longer ‘just’ a hobby to me. It’s one of way to make me keep sane in my chaotic world and off course to have some extra money at the same time.
I actually don’t know where to start. I don’t even know why I wrote this post. I just feel that I have to do it. Strange isn’t it? Well dear, if you’re meant to be mine, you’ll learn your future wife (that would be me ^_~) is quite a weird woman in her chaotic life.
I don’t know you yet right now but I do know that I think of you a lot of time. I think about you more often lately. Hmm.. Maybe because I’ll be 31 in few weeks and my biological clock is ticking loudly. Maybe it’s because most of my friend already found their man and I got jealous. Or maybe it’s only because I’m ready to meet you now. It’s just as simple as that.
Whenever I think about you, I really think that you’re quite insane by accepting me as your wife. ME, a woman who don’t know how to cook good meal –but in my defense I will say that I do bake cookies and people said that it taste good- ; who is more to be a night owl than a morning person so YES, you have to find your own effective way to wake me up in the morning, that’s for sure. ME, who tend to forget where I put my things, and always (always) make a mess whenever I do my crafting project (you can ask my mom on that) –and please note this as a sign that I’ll need a working room in our house to messed around with my crafting stashes ~_^ –
One thing for sure my dearest future husband, whoever you are, you must be a very special man with a BIG heart and a strong personality. Because I’ve been living and cope with myself for the past 30 years and I know that it won’t be easy.
My dad left us behind and leaves all the responsibility to me –since I’m the eldest of two. So I have to take care the whole family since then. A best grandma in the whole world (she passed away now), a sick mom and a younger brother. I have to think and taking care of everything. From paying the bills and make sure that we have something to eat tomorrow. I’ve been through a lot. From loosing someone dearest; losing a house and end up in small rented house up to losing confidence of myself. But one thing for sure, in between that misery, that agony, I still have my dignity, and keep myself saves from choosing the wrong path. I had to admit though that I stumble and even fall once in a while – and don’t forget to mention that there’re lots of tears in the process. But I can proudly say that I don’t smoke or drink or even using drugs as my escape.
I had to admit though that there’s side effect of having those kind of responsibility at my young age. Good and not good. Hmm I think I’ll only tell you the bad side today as I know that it would be easy for you to accept my good side ;). Buckle up and listen carefully.
Being a decision maker at home makes me a little bit stubborn sometimes. I feel like I already experience a lot so by that I know everything. So everything should be done with my way. Well we all know that that’s not true at all. Experiencing a lot doesn’t mean that I know everything. It just shows I experiencing a thing one step ahead from others but it doesn’t mean that I’m better than other. It’s not easy to remind that all the time though *sigh*. I hope you have the patience to remind me always.
And by the way dear, I’m bit moody. The best way is to leave me alone for about 15 min. Well actually, I want you in the same room with me on that moody moment but please just be quite and say nothing at all. I just need your presence not your question. You will do that for me, right dear?
And that’s all for now dear. I need to search for my work paper as I forgot where I put it -well that’s another thing about me.
See you in my next letter.
-Your Future Best Companion-